Small Hands, Part Two
They met at a diner two blocks from the library, her choice, a corner booth with a clear line to both exits — he noticed that, filed it away the way you file away things about people who've been afraid in rooms before.
She was younger up close than she'd sounded on the phone. She kept both hands wrapped around a coffee she wasn't drinking.
"I'm not who the fundraiser page makes me sound like," she said, before he could ask anything. "I'm not a stranger who felt sorry for you."
"I didn't think you were," he said, which wasn't true, but felt like the right thing to say to someone this nervous.
She asked him questions that didn't make sense at first — what were the actual words to "Small Hands," not the tune, the words, because she'd only ever had the humming. He sang them low, right there in the booth, the second verse nobody online had ever heard because he never played it in public: small hands, small hands, hold on to the rail, I'll carry the rest, you don't have to be brave.
Her face went through something he didn't have a name for.
"You used to say the last line different," she said. "Not 'you don't have to be brave.' You said—"
"You don't have to be brave, not with me." He hadn't said those words out loud in twenty-two years. Saying them now felt like pulling a stitch out of something that had never fully closed. "Nobody knows that line. I never recorded it. I never—"
"I know," she said. "I have a tape. It's the only thing of yours I ever had."
"Who are you," Wesley said, and it wasn't really a question by the time it left his mouth, because some part of him had already done the arithmetic and simply refused to say the sum out loud first.
She set the coffee down so she wouldn't spill it with her shaking hands.
"Because you used to sing it to me, Dad."